Michael Moore: Wanted Dead or Alive

Posted on October 6, 2004

Michael Moore's Slacker Uprising Tour to get out the youth vote in Michigan has been a major irritant to Bush supporters. As part of his schtick, Moore offers any slacker who manages to make it to the polls a gag gift of some clean underwear and a package of Ramen noodles -- staples of the college slacker. Their sense of humor seriously impaired, Republican operatives in Michigan have sworn out four criminal complaints accusing Moore of bribing voters. They have asked for Moore to be arrested -- yes, that's right -- arrested.

In a statement Moore replied, "My friends, they will not catch me. Though I may be on the run, and I may never be able to return home to my beloved Michigan, I make this solemn vow to you and yours: The slackers of America shall not be denied their noodles, they will proudly wear their clean underwear as free Americans, and they will vote Bush out of office come November 2nd (though they will not show up to the polls until well after noon)! Stay strong, stay slacker, and please remember to turn the underwear inside out every three days. As for the noodles, add boiling water, stir."

And do the Republicans think that this is going to encourage college students to vote for Bush? This is a major PR mistake by the RNC -- better to show that your candidate has a sense of humor than to come off as a grumpy authority figure.