If you ever meet Oscar-nominated screenwriter Josh Olsen (A History of Violence), feel free to talk about screenwriting. But whatever you do, don't ask him to read your script. It could get ugly.
In fact, Josh is so tired of being hounded by friends and strangers alike to read their scripts that he finally wrote an article for The Village Voice entitled "I Will Not Read Your Fu***ng Script."
I will not read your fu***ng script.
That's simple enough, isn't it? "I will not read your fu***ng script." What's not clear about that? There's nothing personal about it, nothing loaded, nothing complicated. I simply have no interest in reading your fu***ng screenplay. None whatsoever.
If that seems unfair, I'll make you a deal. In return for you not asking me to read your fu***ng script, I will not ask you to wash my fu***ng car, or take my fu***ng picture, or represent me in fu***ng court, or take out my fu***ng gall bladder, or whatever the f*** it is that you do for a living.
You're a lovely person. Whatever time we've spent together has, I'm sure, been pleasurable for both of us. I quite enjoyed that conversation we once had about structure and theme, and why Sergio Leone is the greatest director who ever lived. Yes, we bonded, and yes, I wish you luck in all your endeavors, and it would thrill me no end to hear that you had sold your screenplay, and that it had been made into the best movie since Godfather Part II.
But I will not read your fu***ng script.
Then Josh gets really cranky. He has two piles of scripts: one pile that he must read for work and a pile from close friends. He feels guilty pretty much all the time, either for ignoring his work scripts or ignoring his friends' scripts. He can hardly get his own work done. On top of that, most of the people who hand him synopses and scripts can't write, which really makes him really grumpy.
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