You probably have a few barriers
that are standing in your way and preventing you from daring yourself to
new levels of greatness. Barriers, though they are imaginary obstacles,
seem very real at the moment you experience them. What you must realize
is that whenever you find yourself resisting anything during the dream
job process, know that it is fear talking. When you begin to understand
why you're having difficulty moving forward in the process, you can
identify the fear and be ready to move on with confidence and embrace
your greatness. Identify your barriers and then you can begin to come up
with a plan so that you can take action and let the momentum you create
help carry you towards the life you want and deserve.
We must take time for ourselves, but it's difficult to commit time,
especially when you are working a full-time job. We're taught to put
others needs and wants before our own and often wind up tired,
overscheduled and with no energy for ourselves. Schedule daily
appointments with yourself in order to take time away from your busy
life and become clear on where to direct your energy and time.
Fear of change and success
Many people enjoy the status quo and don't want to make a change to
become more successful. Though they state that they do indeed want
success, they choose to stay in their comfort zone. Success is the
unknown and the unknown is often feared. Increased success means change
and an increased level of responsibility. It takes courage and risk for
most of us to take the leap and find a fulfilling job. After we've
achieved success, we must maintain that success and that takes effort.
We must live with a new reality, a new view of ourselves and a new way
of relating to the world. It is so much easier to daydream about
"someday" than it is to actually take the steps to make
"someday" a reality and live it on a day to day basis. That
requires work and commitment and many of us find it easier to live in
the daydream of "what if" than to make it "what is".
Fear of failure
The most common fear of them all. We fear so many things about failure.
We fear making a fool out of ourselves, we fear losing our security, we
fear stepping backwards instead of forward, we fear making the wrong
decision, we fear not being able to live up to standards (whether they
are ours or society's), we fear being labeled a failure or a loser.
There can be so much fear that it is often paralyzing. We have no idea
where to begin to deal with all the fears that we just simply stay where
Isolation and lack of support
Isolation is a dream job killer. We all need support to land the job of
our dreams. Daring ourselves and moving forward are often facilitated
when we have a great support system. When we find ourselves trying to go
it alone, it's more likely that we'll have setbacks and just stay where
we are. In many cases, understanding who you are and what you enjoy
doing is enhanced with the help of others. If we don't have support,
it's often too overwhelming and easier to just play it safe and stay at
our current level of mediocrity.
Shoulds from family and society
Throughout our lives, we hear many messages about how we should act. We
become conditioned and socialized to act in acceptable ways that may not
always be in our best interests. We often live a life doing what others
tell us we should. We're told/taught "Don't rock the boat,"
"Fit in, be like everyone else", "This is how it's
done" and more. Being like everyone else may not be where our
greatness lies and we wind up not even knowing what we want in a dream
job. We fear rejection so much that we often play small just to fit in.
We take our place as one of the mindless worker ants, trudging through
the same routines, complaining about the same problems and realizing the
same small results. We must move from our shoulds to our genuine wants
Financial obligations and fear of poverty
Financial obligations such as mortgages, credit card bills, college
savings for children and more can restrain us. If your survival depends
on your income alone, this is a fear you may experience when facing
dramatic changes in your life. Recognize that you have control over the
changes you wish to bring about and can do so gradually while
maintaining a secure income from a familiar source. Thus, you can ease
into the life you want one step at a time and reduce the threat of
Comparing and Despairing
There will always be someone who is "better". Someone who has
more, lives better, is more fulfilled, etc. Comparison is a losing game.
It lets us run round in endless circles and provides many excuses for
not doing anything more - "I'll never be as good an actor as Meryl
Streep so why should I even go on any auditions?", "I'll never
be able to get a recording contract like Garth Brooks so why should I
work on my singing career?". The fact that acting is your passion
or singing speaks to your soul gets lost somehow.
We see ourselves as less than who we really are and feel we are unworthy
to receive all that we deserve. Our own fears, limitations and mental
criticisms alienate us from our goal. Self-doubt is one of the biggest
obstacles to achieving our dreams. We often ignore ourselves in favor of
others. We value their opinions too highly and our own too little. The
only real approval that matters is that which comes from inside
ourselves. We're the only people who know what we truly need and want.
This makes us our own best judge of whether or not what we're doing is
right and good for us. We must shift from self doubt to belief. If we
tap into our true gifts and unleash our essence, we come from a place of
strength. It is possible to be all we can during the dream job process.
Not knowing what you would love to do
Most people don't know what they want or what they enjoy doing. They
don't know what they value or believe in. They aren't sure where they
are going and how to get there. This frustration of not knowing freezes
people from taking the risk and having the courage to find out what they
would love to do.
Fear of making the wrong decision
Each decision you make will lead you down a unique path with challenges
and opportunities of its own. You may have several options you would
like to try and worry that only one will be the right one and spend
endless time trying to decide which is best. Thinking a situation
through in a thorough manner is a good thing. We weigh pros and cons and
find the best way to achieve our goals. However, analyzing can be used
to avoid action. We can make endless lists, but if items never get
checked off the list, what good is it? It's easy to get lost in the
details and never get around to doing anything because you're too busy
planning for every possible contingency. Life is not so easily split
into right or wrong, black or white. It is made up of many shades of
gray. Don't allow analysis to become an excuse for inaction.
said, "The marvelous richness of human experience would lose
something of rewarding joy if there were no limitations to overcome. The
hilltop hour would not be half so wonderful if there were no dark
valleys to traverse."
Copyright 2003, Joel Garfinkle, All Rights Reserved
Joel Garfinkle provides a step-by-step Dream Job process that has guided thousands of clients to find the perfect job and reach career fulfillment. For Career Coaching Services: