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How to Help Your Husband Make More Money So You Can Be A Stay-At-Home Mom
by Joanne Watson
Warner Books, 2003

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Chapter 1

The "Team Work"
Decision: Great Ideas
Come Before Great Actions


Is your secret (or not so secret) desire to be a stayat- home mom? If so, you are NOT alone. Many working mothers would prefer to stay home with their children, if their husband's income alone could support the family.

A growing number of women feel that it is better for children to have their mother at home, and many women are finding that needing to work full-time outside the home is a source of stress in their relationship with their husbands.

Despite these facts, many woman are working outside the home full-time in response to the need for more money to support the family.

The alternatives of trying to work from home or live on one paycheck that is too small aren't always workable or desirable. Working at home is not for everyone. Cutting back on expenses is not always a solution. Sometimes there are financial obligations that just have to be met, like medical expenses or mortgage payments.

If this is your situation, does it mean that you will just have to try to "make the best of it" and resign yourself to giving up your dream of being a stay-at-home mom? Absolutely not. There is another option, but it is a bit of a lost art.

In today's high-speed Internet-connected world, it is easier than ever to help your husband make more money, if you know how.

Often times, despite both parents working outside the home full-time, couples find that they are "just getting by" and are no closer to being able to realize their stay-at-home-mom goal. Meanwhile, neither parent is home with the children.

On the other hand, helping your husband to make more money is an approach that has helped many women to successfully afford to stay home with their families, while strengthening the family unit. But how do you help your husband make more money?

You do it by approaching your family's income using the Team Work concept. Using the Team Work concept, you form a team with your husband and take an active role in his success.

Team Work is about taking responsibility for your relationship, working together-yet in different ways, each part contributing to the whole and using a loving and supportive approach to building the life you want. Using Team Work will help build your income and your relationship.

Most men have the desire to make more money, and many of them share in the feeling that it is better for children to have a stay-at-home mom, and would like to make enough money for their wives to be home with the children if they could do so. And whether they will tell you or not, many men find that it is a source of personal frustration, as well as stress in their relationship with their wife, that their wife needs to work full-time outside the home to make ends meet.

However, without guidance on how to make enough money to be able to afford to have their wife stay home with the children, and for lack of a better alternative, the situation continues.

In How to Help Your Husband, you will be taken stepby- step through the actions that can give you the life you want, but the decision is up to you. Those precious years when your children are young will go by all too fast. Don't sit on the sidelines watching the life you want pass you by. The difference between looking back with regret and looking back with a sense of fulfillment starts with your decision. Without changing your mind, you will not change your circumstances.

The first step is for you and your husband to make the decision to work together as a team to turn your stay-at-home-mom goal into a reality.

One person working alone can accomplish a certain amount. Two working side by side can accomplish more. But two working as a team is the most effective way to accomplish your goals. Imagine a football team that was made up of all quarterbacks. Or a baseball team that was made up of all second basemen, with no one to cover third, etc. Yes, they would catch more balls thrown to second base than a team with only one second baseman, but there would be gaps in their coverage that would leave them vulnerable.

The same is true of the family. With both parents trying to "do it all" by working full-time outside the home and taking care of a family, they often say they can't do either as well as they would like. However, by using Team Work to improve your income, you will have the advantage and strength of a team. With your help and support, your husband's odds of success increase, making it much easier for him to provide the kind of income needed for your family to achieve its stay-at-home-mom goal. Using Team Work, each role in the family contributes to the success of all the other parts of the family. With Team Work, you can reclaim the family and its strength.

Use your resources in the most effective way possible by approaching your family's income with Team Work.

It is important to bring up the subject in a positive way. Let your husband know that you think he is a great guy, and that he is worth more money. Tell him you would like to work as a team to help him get the pay he deserves.

Explain to him that by pooling your resources, you increase your odds of success. You can remind him that his favorite football team or baseball team is made up of more than one player, and together they win the game. Here is an inspiring quote he may relate to:

People who work together will win, whether it be against complex football defenses, or the problems of modern society.
-Vince Lombardi, ESPN's Coach of the Century The truth is, if you are working outside the home currently, you are already helping with the family income-just in a more expensive way.

It is easier than most people think to raise their husband's income by enough to stay home with their children.

One important (but often overlooked) fact is that you don't have to replace your entire income to make it work. You only need to replace the part that you are keeping after deducting work-related expenses like child-care, office lunches, transportation, work wardrobe, etc.

So, for example, if you are a mom of two earning $30,000, and you are spending $15,000 on child-care and other work-related expenses, you would need to help raise your husband's income by only $15,000 in order to have the same net result, but with the added bonus of you being able to be home with your children. If the change from two incomes to one lowers your tax bracket, you will have a savings there, too. Of course, you will need to factor in the replacement cost of any job benefits you receive, as well, such as insurance provided by your employer, etc. If you sit down and go over the numbers, you can figure out how much you really need to raise your husband's income by to accomplish your stay-at-homemom goal. It may be less than you imagined. Either way, that amount then becomes Target #1.

It is best if you both agree on your target, so there are no misunderstandings, and you can keep your eyes on your goal.

Achieving your target may happen all at once, or it may come in stages, and it is important to celebrate your victories along the way, and acknowledge what you have achieved as a team.

Of course, once you have achieved and celebrated Target #1, you may want to set Target #2, which will allow you to achieve greater financial stability and help you to accomplish your other financial goals.

Sure, you will have to apply what you have learned, and it will take some action on your part, but once you have made the decision and have the know-how, it's really not that hard to do.

A big part of success is believing in your ability to accomplish what you set out to do. A confident approach will open more doors than a timid one will. Many people have successfully used these Team Work techniques to raise their husband's income— some of them with less skills than your team. If they can do it, so can you.

Being armed with the knowledge of how to go about something makes it a much easier task. For example, having a good recipe makes it a lot easier to bake a cake!

How to Help Your Husband will give you knowledge to confidently guide your path to the life that you want.

There are plenty of high-paying positions out there. Some of the top executives are making hundreds of millions of dollars a year. Do you think that all of them are that many times more qualified than most hardworking Americans? Neither do I. But they have accomplished something that they dreamed of, and they are being paid very well for it.

A "high" salary for your husband, one that by itself comfortably supports a family, is not too high of a goal to shoot for. It happens every day all over the country. In any economy, opportunities exist. It is important for you to keep in mind that there are plenty of high-paying jobs out there. Employers and hiring managers are right at this moment grappling with the problem of how to find the right person to solve their particular problem and fill their need.

The idea that it is hard to do can be a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Decide that it is easy, follow the steps, and it soon will be.

Excerpted from How to Help Your Husband Make More Money So You Can Be A Stay-At-Home Mom by Joanne Watson. Copyright © 2003 by Joanne Watson. All rights reserved. Posted with permission of No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.

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