I will not read your fu***ng script.

That's simple enough, isn't it? "I will not read your fu***ng script." What's not clear about that? There's nothing personal about it, nothing loaded, nothing complicated. I simply have no interest in reading your fu***ng screenplay. None whatsoever.

If that seems unfair, I'll make you a deal. In return for you not asking me to read your fu***ng script, I will not ask you to wash my fu***ng car, or take my fu***ng picture, or represent me in fu***ng court, or take out my fu***ng gall bladder, or whatever the f*** it is that you do for a living.

You're a lovely person. Whatever time we've spent together has, I'm sure, been pleasurable for both of us. I quite enjoyed that conversation we once had about structure and theme, and why Sergio Leone is the greatest director who ever lived. Yes, we bonded, and yes, I wish you luck in all your endeavors, and it would thrill me no end to hear that you had sold your screenplay, and that it had been made into the best movie since Godfather Part II. But I will not read your fu***ng script.